I Still Do. {Poem}

Fuck, I miss you.

You were it for me

The one who blinded

Well? Everything.

All the others seemed to disappear

Whether you were

Or, were not there.

Fuck, it’s still that way.

We were both out-casted

By choice? Maybe.

But you are fucking weird and so am I.

Two weirds,

Yes! Yes! We made a right.

Normal became how we lived our life.

I want you to know, you’ve ruined me

Now I spend my days spewing this poetry

Dreaming of a love I will not know again.

I’m inclined to spend the rest of my days alone,

Instead of being someone’s twin.

That’s ok,

I would rather leave it where it lay —

This feeling, I just can’t shake

You were my mate and will continue to be

Even though, we weren’t meant for unity.

You got me,

More than anyone else did

So at least, I know that type of knowing, does exist.

We were screwed up in every way,

But that didn’t stop our magnetic fate.

I would die all over again,

Just to feel your lips pressed up against my skin

I won’t let anyone touch me to this day

Cause then I’d have to bid farewell to the ache.

I’m saving it as long as I can

I guess, it’s how I pretend that

I’m still holding your hand.

Where are you now?

I have no idea

Not knowing is so surreal.

Tell me! Tell me!

Who makes sure you take care of your soul?

Drink enough water? Wash your clothes?

That was my job, I thought,

Until, we grew old

But no, no, it was over, done, abrupt.

It’s like remembering the dead, but forgetting their life,

I try to remember what was,

Not the lies.

Sometimes, I wonder if any of it was true,

Or was I tied up in a lover’s pursuit?

Yet, I know one thing for certain, and that is—

I loved you.

I loved you.

I loved you more and more.

And you know what?

I still do.

Fuck, I miss the hell out of you.

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