Yesterday, my friend sent me a blog post written by a woman who seems to have it all figured out. She was describing how to navigate through the difficult times:
”Allow these feelings (sadness, grief and anger)…to arise, crest and pass away like a blue wave in the ocean.”
Are you fucking kidding me? That’s not how it happens. Have you ever been stuck in a cresting wave of grief?
It takes complete control. It swirls you and twirls you and bashes you into the coral beneath. It disorients you; you have no idea which way is up or down.
You feel like you can’t hold on anymore, and right as you open your mouth and the froth starts to fill your throat, you surface.
Maybe you’re stuck in a set and you get dragged under once again, or maybe you paddle like hell and collapse onto shore, just long enough to catch your breath, before the tide comes in and carries you back out into the current—Anger, this time. Bash. Crash.
That’s what it’s really like.
But, few want to write about that or read that, because, it’s true, and the truth is ugly and unpopular. No one wants to be unpopular by association, right?
My friend had a purpose in sending that article to me–not as inspiration, but to remind me of all of the inspirational garbage that’s out there.
There are many who are pretending to be through it, leading the way, to a way of life that doesn’t even exist.
Airy-fairy, idealistic, nonsensical prose gets the reader nowhere, but feeling more defeated, lesser than and completely lost.
Some days, some years are going to suck and then without knowing how or why, things will get better and you’ll start to find a bit of purpose and you’ll laugh again and life will seems doable and happy, even.
And then—it might suck again, but for less time this time, and it will be happier for longer after that, or maybe not.
The author got one thing right – the wave.
Life is full of waves and you’ll get caught in thousands of them: some you’ll surf and some you’ll wipe out on.
You’ll feel like you’re going to die, but you won’t.
You’ll feel like you could live forever, but you won’t.
It’s not the “blue waves” of emotions that will pass away from this life; it is you who will.
So, while you can, let those waves take you and swirl you and flip you and disorient you, because, that’s part of this ride–that’s meant to be experienced, not understood. ~Rebecca